Promise Philosopher Pillows

How To Keep Promises

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

Marriage Returns

A problem is opportunity in working clothes.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

Road repair crew in denial ('Personally, I don't see a problem here.')

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

Happy New Year!

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

Future Desert Islands.

"Think man, think! We mate for life, are you ready for that kind of committment?"

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

"Three. How many times you been married?"

'I've been doing a lot of soul searching, Jenkins, and I've realized there's just so much more to money than life.'

"Helen, I really wish you would respect my creative process."

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

"And do you, Jane, take Hank or the mystery box your mother is holding?"

"If I promise to take you on a fact-finding junket to Bermuda, I'll have to promise to take every voter to Bermuda."

'He does.'