Projection Skeptic T-Shirts

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Progress?

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Please seat to be weighted.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Woman and scales.

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"And this slide represents what our sales growth would look like if we hadn't screwed it up so bad."

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

Anticipated Sales - "Now at this point reality intruded."

'Your weight second opinion.'

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

'LIAR!'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'You lie!'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

'This is a pirate moving image isn't it?'

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

"And that's the projection for that stock."

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

Salmon jumping up waterfall on film

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'