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"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"How is it gendered?"

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

Disco Owls

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

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"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'I can't help thinking there's something else we can do with this.'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

Randi Rhodes

'Face it, you've changed. The man I married would never subject his family to an annual cost-benefit analysis.'

'Him?.. Oh, he's the guy who discovered fire.'

"We're throwing out the old rules."

Pope Francis