Progressive Partner Gifts

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

The Ascent of Woman

Connected to Technology.

The wife whisperer.

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

New arrival

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

Love Birds love snuggles

Well first of all, he can't find anything, ever. I have to find the man's socks, his toothbrush … Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. And he'll tell me he's hungry in the morning. Then he'll go in the other room, and in the evening he comes back in and tells me he's starving. It's like as soon as we got married, the man became so stupid he can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker. No, I said tell me his good points. Those are his good points. Foul!

"Go with the horizontal stripes. It'll make me look thinner when I stand next to you."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'I've told you...only wake me for one of the queen's tirades. Uprisings and coups can wait.'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"So that's where you were last night."

Safari tourists surrounded by lions following a 4x4 car crash.

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Pole dancers

'What's with the Thesaurus - trying to find a clinical term for love?'

Flag bearers

There Is An Alternative Universe In Which Donald Trump Cares About Us And We Care About Stuff That Matters

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'