Progressive Movements Gifts

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

'My wife's in Women's Lib, my son's a gay activist, my daughter's living in a free-love commune and I don't know where I'm at.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Joined at the hipster.

The Berlin Peace Movement

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"How is it gendered?"

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

Fight for Your Democratic Right to Be Ignored

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"Look - we'll whistle when it's fifteen dollars an hour."

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

Spiritual Lives Matter

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

The 99% of the 1%

Leftie Trump

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

"He's a middle-aged white man. What other reason do you need?"

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

Leftie Trump

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden