Progressive Mind Pillows

'Careful, Jake. I think he's gettin' ideas.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Ben had it custom built. He gets to all the good spots first.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"How is it gendered?"

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

"And you need to know this why?"

"It's going to be one of those days."

Assertiveness

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"Are we overthinking this?"

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

"Face it -- you resent me for the exploring in depth a world that you take for granted."

Flag bearers

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

"OK, let's hear it - but this better not be another one of your pie-in-the-sky ideas."

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."