Unconventional Mind Pillows

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Ben had it custom built. He gets to all the good spots first.'

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"Things are looking up!"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"Are we overthinking this?"

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they... market a roll of tape that's easy to start every time?!

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"OK, let's hear it - but this better not be another one of your pie-in-the-sky ideas."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

Benjamin Franklin.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

A man without a chicken on his head!

"If robots can replace workers, then they can replace students. So I created one for me. Now I can stay home all day and play video games."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"What can I say - it turs out wheels were a social construct all along."

Actual Results May Vary