Progressive Challenger Pillows

"Two plus two makes four?! Only if you still cling to the outmoded and stereotypical worldview of the patriarchy."

Do not think outside the box!

There Is An Alternative Universe In Which Donald Trump Cares About Us And We Care About Stuff That Matters

'I just couldn't wait until eight!'

AI

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

"Cheer up, might never happen!"

'She does great things with leftovers. . .She throws them out.'

When a nanosecond is forever.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Voting Difficulties

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

'Waiter, kindly take this away and bring me some hot soup.'

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

Boxer with glasses.

'Non confromists society annual dinner' "You can't come in mate...Its formal dress"

Bet You're Chicken!

"As you can see, I was able to answer all the questions without getting bogged down in perfection."

No, I wouldn't call this a "lucky break"!

He used to do his own thing. Now they expect him to do someone else's thing.

"I am my own penguin"

Pessimism Quiz.

"I think next year things will really be different."

'It's all in how you look at it -- try thinking of yourself as the world's tallest short guy.'

Incompetence treatment center

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits, and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'In accordance with company policy to explore alternative ideas...'

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

Black Sheep