Progress Skeptic Gifts

Progress?

Down with technology! It creates more jobs than it eliminates!

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

The Mainstream

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Politicians are from Uranus.

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

A man without a chicken on his head!

'And now, Henderson will introduce his 25-part plan on spontaneity.'

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'No 'Natural Environment,' next 127 miles - Govt. test study.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"OK, I'll be the one to say it. With all due respect, sir, that is one heck of a big 'if!'"

"I have every confidence that the measures taken will encourage spending..."

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'