Programs Director T-Shirts

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

Sales used to be through the roof, now they're through the floor.

'Hang on a minute...'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'We're plowing our excess profits back into justifying our profits.'

Sales tied in knots

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

Circus. Clown Dept. You realize, of course, you'll have to share the company car.

'Employee benefits? Sure, here you are!'

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

'The secret of getting a good job that fits you perfectly is letting yourself in on what that really is!'

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

"We like to treat all our employees as individuals. This for example is individual No. P3604."

Day One, NASA

'Wow!! Do I ever like the flavour of the month!!'

"George we don't have an opposing point of view!"

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Reality TV

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

'John, I like your style, and I'll be honest, I see a lot of you in me.'

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."