Research Director T-Shirts

'We manufacture micro computing devices. We're looking to hire a director of research that can anticipate the next small thing.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Just be yourself."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Fear/Knowledge

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Director/Action Man toy.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."