Program Crash Survivor Gifts

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Barbeque Casualty.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

"This program really isn't user friendly."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

"Others have tried to say something in macrame and failed."

"We can't go on meeting like this. It's costing you a fortune in repairs."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

STRIP Hambone: Living in the box the computer who replaced him came in

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

"Sorry Ma'ma, but I got caught inside a car for a few hours. I just managed to escape when they opened the window: Where am I?"

"I spilt coffee on my machine again..."

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

'I want you to file a malpractice suit.'

'I can't believe you managed to drop your mobile phone!...'

"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."