Profit Ponderers Pillows

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

business

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Have you seen my money?

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

GDP and G&T.

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

"Woah - random!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."