Profit Ponderers Pillows

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

business

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

Have you seen my money?

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

GDP and G&T.

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'