Professor Retirement Gifts

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Not that net!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Thinking Gears

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Feel free to take notes."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Allotment

"Your contents have shifted."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Solitary 'Pleasure' Fisherman whose one desire is to get away from it all.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach