Professor Pal Pillows

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Intellectual Property

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Doctors

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

Obama punishing Assad

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

Theodore Roosevelt

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Peaceful transition?

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

Iranium

Persian

Trump Liberty

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

"I don’t know, Phil … my gut tells me she’ll drive you nuts."

Mob Shrink

"Dad, I hold a professorship, in poetry at Harvard. I'm widely published. I'm well off. I'll retire in three years. The odds of me going into medicine at this point are slim to none."