Professional Queue Navigators Gifts

Bored men in waiting room

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

The First Commuters

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

Thanks TSA

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Three people waiting in a queue.

...What if I promise to only use half my brain?

Cramped airport departure lounge.

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

Stand in the Q.

"I want to get off the parkway." "Thirty-five cents! First window please!"

'Sometimes I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day -- but I wouldn't list it under 'career goals.'

'So close! If only you hasn't cut in line here!'

"Can you hold my place in line while I run off to live the life I always wanted?"

"I told you we had to leave earlier."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"Hey, no pushing!!"

"And one other thing....It's not on the CV, but I golf."

Express Lane Ten Items Or Less Or A $5 Surcharge.

'There's a queue here, Pal.' 'Aye! Get thee behind me, Satan.'

'Wouldn't you know it? Just one line is open, and I get stuck behind a stupid glacier!'

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.

"Ere, I was here first!"

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

'Next time?'