Professional Griper Pillows

"I only subscribe to complain about the cartoons."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

"Well, you taught him to fetch our slippers."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

Cat boxer

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

'Such petulance!'

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

" ... and look at that grip, Daddy!"

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"I am Baldonator, the meanest fighter around! No one dares mess with me."

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

The Coffee Specialist

'Didn't some smart guy say, 'Ignorance is bliss?''

'Actually, we're looking for someone who's willing to start at the bottom and stay there.'