Professional Development Courses Gifts

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Staff support"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

International Women's Day.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Reach for the Star.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

How leaders fail

Pipe Dream.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Work/Life Balance

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."