Procurement Battle Enthusiast Gifts

"Are you sure this is how procurement challenges are resolved?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Epic Battles

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

Roman paramedic.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

'Why are they all picking on me?'

'Our largest contract is in a mess, the suppliers are failing to deliver, and we have no idea what we are doing. The procurement team sent us their best guy to help sort it out...'

e-procurement

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times. I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

"Stupid bean counter!"

Supply chain issues result in unfinished cartoon.

"We are thinking about what we need. Concentrate on our thoughts and prepare all the procurement documentation..."

'The barbarians ,,, I mean, IRS agents ,,, are at the gate,'

"Gentlemen, I've decided to reduce our executive committee to three members."

'That's the best thing about economy size - one can use double the quantity.'

Family size, economy size, giant size

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the Cheapest Tender."

"Congratulations on your Pulitzer. Now, let's revisit the university's contract offer."

"Remember what I said...keep an eye on the arrows!"