Procrastinating Scribe T-Shirts

"I don't usually tell people I'm a writer because I've never actually written anything."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Emergency Firebreaker

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

Monks form copier service.

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

"Candy is like money...you must manage it carefully...or it disappears...without you ever knowing where it went!"

"Well they say everyone has a book in them."

"It was a dark and stormy night...."

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

Fortune Teller.

"So, instead of cleaning your room, you want to talk about my shoes?"

Writing a letter

"Did you know the ancient Maya predicted that the world would end in 2012?"

Reader's Block

Ink floating in a paper boat

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Better than Chekhov

My book group is coming tomorrow night. Thanks for the warning. I've got the food. I'm making the cookies tonight. I'll vacuum in the morning. Sounds like you're ready. Yep. Except for reading the book. And making more cookies.

'Son, never be afraid to try new things. Like working.'