Process Optimization Pillows

"There must be an easier way!"

"That's not our logo. That's the company's flowchart."

Lean manufacture

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

The Devolution of Man

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"Business has been steady."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

'Could you put a little more effort into that 'IN' box of yours?'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"And this is the traditional alternative."

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

Derision/Leader/Respect

We find this model works better for us!

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

Since his black belt certification in Process Improvement, Henry's presentations had become unbearable.

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

'This is Billy...my caddy and designated putter.'

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"What's in the pipeline? Everything's stuck in the pipeline!"