Workflow Optimization Pillows

"What's in the pipeline? Everything's stuck in the pipeline!"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Failure/Due Diligence

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

Empty/Full

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"How was your day?"

A usual day.

The Devolution of Man

In Tray, Out Tray and Not My Job Tray

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'Could you put a little more effort into that 'IN' box of yours?'

"And this is the traditional alternative."

'This is Henry, he'll show you the ins and outs.'

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."