Process Improvement Fanatic Gifts

"What's in the pipeline? Everything's stuck in the pipeline!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

What else is there to wish for?

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Self Help / Elf Help.

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

It's A Breeze

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".