Procedure Lovers T-Shirts

Micromanager of the Year Award: 'No, you need to present the award from my left...and did you do the awards form 87F, 2012?...'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

A salute of scouts

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'Does my head look big in this?'

"Did you have to go on about his being 'officially unavailable' and 'defying the nature of his masculinity?"

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

First Aid Box

Tribal masks.

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

Anatomy.

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

Anatomy.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

The wedding cake as Holy Sacrament.

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

the bureaucrat's desk

"He misses his commute ."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

"Give me a couple years, and I can answer your simple question about the new regulations."

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Sculptor's Attempts At Sculpting Crumpled Paper Ball End Up In Trash

Mountaineers milk.

"We were just making a little ceremony of burning the mortgage."

Plain ol' me.

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."