Problem-solving Maven Gifts

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

Jack of all trades

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Drool Marks

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Multi-Tasking

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Failure/Due Diligence

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'I'm a wife, a daughter, a working mother...and you're asking me if I can MULTI-TASK???'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'