Probiotic Pioneer T-Shirts

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"I take a probiotic. Ed swears by beer and peanuts."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"States of tofu"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Queen of Quinoa

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"OK team, we need innovative solutions and we need 'em fast!"

Men's Health Screenings.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'New Barbeque.'

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Some genetically engineered pig

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"We're making progress."

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

The early days of tofurkey.

'And that's how we discovered curly genes, or, as Dr. Crick insists on calling them, 'DNA'.'

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"How almond milk is made"

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'