Probiotic Pal Prints

"I have as many organisms on my tongue as she has in her probiotic, so why won't she let me lick her face."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"I'm going to prepare a special dish for Thanksgiving dinner."

"You had me at alternative milk."

Doctors

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"This is my man cave."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

'Thankfully he doesn't talk!'

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

You might want to cut back on the probiotics.

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

Pirate trying on parrots.

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."