Private Persona Gifts

Closet.

"I, TikTok."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

My Spam Sketchbook

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

'Something that'll get me googled,'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

Man chooses head from cupboard.

"Of course I have an imaginary alter-ego. You'll find it on Facebook."

"...I'll sit here pretending to be interested but I'll actually be writing a shopping list and fantasising about my plumber!"

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

'I'm making sure my self-inflated Wikipedia entry corresponds to my self-inflated Facebook profile.'

'I'll take the case,' I said. Or did I? I fear I'm no longer able to differentiate between interior and exterior monologue.'

Home/work masks.

Public Speaking Shoes

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

Bloggers Anonymous.

'Kiss you? Not after all I went through in biology class!'

"Tous les copains ont été invité à une fête, sauf moi."

"I'm afraid its hippyitis."

'I don't need therapy, but my alter ego on Facebook really has some issues!'

"That guy isn't really famous...just Google famous."

'Not the 'Grizzlydog2576'? I love your posts!'

"You appear to be more interesting on you website, than you actually are"

"....and please make my life as interesting as I make it look in Facebook."

I need guidance. Go ahead, child. My tweets and my status updates are witty and charming, nut in person I'm boring. You seek a way to improve your personality? I seek a way to strap my phone to my mouth so it can display my tweets and status updates. Computer Villa.

Bird of Paradise as social media

"Don't judge me until you see me web page."

"Feh! Now this is a real princess!"

'What a pity they didn't go to the same charm school!'