Private Equity Professional T-Shirts

Dress your private equity pro in humor and style with our witty and stylish t-shirts. They’re perfect for showing off their industry pride with a fun and fashionable twist.

Private Equity Manager T-Shirts Private Equity Analyst T-Shirts Investment Professional T-Shirts Investment Professionals T-Shirts Private Sector Executive T-Shirts Portfolio Practitioner T-Shirts Global Equity Enthusiast T-Shirts Equity Lawyer T-Shirts Ethical Investment Expert T-Shirts Investment Broker T-Shirts

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

"The bad news is it's all our clients' money."

"The bad news is it's all our clients' money."

Tax Dodgem Cars.

Tax Dodgem Cars.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

The Three Wise Queens

The Three Wise Queens

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Historic Bank Jobs.

Historic Bank Jobs.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

I brake for federal bailouts.

I brake for federal bailouts.

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Portfolio, 2011

Portfolio, 2011

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

'How to tell the difference between a bull market & a bum steer.'

'How to tell the difference between a bull market & a bum steer.'

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

Pound sign in an hourglass.

Pound sign in an hourglass.

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

America's funniest investment scams

America's funniest investment scams

'Remember, Grindley; Neither a borrower nor a lender be: The real profit is in being the middle man.'

'Remember, Grindley; Neither a borrower nor a lender be: The real profit is in being the middle man.'

"Don't tell me we've got to stay even longer in this godforsaken dump!"

"Don't tell me we've got to stay even longer in this godforsaken dump!"

Gold Crisis

Gold Crisis

Business Philosophy 101.

Business Philosophy 101.

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Greece - The Black Hole

Greece - The Black Hole

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Private Equity Professional T-Shirts Collection

Private Equity Professional Mugs

Explore our collection of private equity-themed mugs—perfect for the office or home, adding humor and personality to their coffee breaks.

Private Equity Professional Pillows

Find cozy private equity pillows to brighten their workspace or living room—combining comfort, fun, and profession in one stylish accessory.

Private Equity Professional Prints

Discover inspiring private equity prints that celebrate their career journey—beautifully designed to add character to any space.