Privacy Analyst Pillows

WE DEVALUE YOUR PRIVACY

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Privacy - Surveillance

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Police Statetion

"Yes, I'm alone."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

The Best Defense

Privacy

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.