Prison Chef Pillows

"Are you trying to tell me you don't serve pan seared sea bass?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Prisoner still life painting.

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"It's fondue night!"

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Prisoner speech

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

Human Rights

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

Sushi Spinoffs

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

Prisoners complaining during an inspection

Prisoner

"Lucky for you we have good health care at this prison."

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"

"Actually, this tastes exactly like home cooking to me...ma's one of the prison cooks here!"

"Hi, scheduling? I've only got 60 seconds, so I'll make this quick..."

'Life means Life' inconsistency

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"It's the warden's idea. She thinks it's cute."

"This is the part of the job I hate."

Lethal Injection