Principal's Nemesis Pillows

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"If they add one more mandatory standardized test... we'll have to lengthen the school year!"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

'Angry parents on lines 1,2,3,4 and 5.'

'To maximize classroom instruction, the feng shui consultant advises one student desk per classroom.'

Hunter with Santa Claus as a Trophy

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'Why are you flicking paint on the floor...'

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'You know what? I agree with my son's opinion of you.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

"How'd your math test go?"

"I hope he washed his hands."

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

Boy on street corner holding placard which says 'Unable to tidy my room'.

'The superintendent is saving money by training driver's ed students in school buses.'

... And then accountability reared its ugly head!

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"There are no stupid questions, Billy. Just stupid questioners."

'Soon you will be here. . .'