Primordial Putter Gifts

Neanderthal Golf.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Duh!"

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

Thanks God!

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

Golfer hitting a die.

Early man had 127 words for rock...and no words for anything else.

'Boy, after you hit the golf ball and hop around a little bit, it ends up being, what's that word... boring.'

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

'I learned a new word today!'

Holy Golf

Golfer uses 'eeny, meeny, miny, mo' to decide which club to use.

'How did the first game go?' - 'I hit a ball in one.'

"I think this calls for a number 3 rake."

"At first we didn't have a clue what to do with them."

Divine Golf

'When you said this course was untouched by time, you weren't kidding.'

Golf Heaven: Is it like I'd imagined? Yeah, pretty much.

'Um... no. I don't think so.'

'I thought we agreed, Father...no praying!'