Price-savvy Sipper Pillows

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

"£18 a bottle. It must be a pretty good wine!"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Running Latte

"You had me at alternative milk."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Anton's Bar and Grill

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Can I get you another coffee?

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

The youth shows responsibility!

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

New for Fall

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'