Prevention Perfectionist Gifts

"I like to carry a lot of hand sanitizer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see my chiropractor."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Bullseye!

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"I think you might need to start again."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

Golf lessons

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Not that slowly back...'

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

Perfection

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'