Pretentious Pet Parent Pillows

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'I've got it written down...'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"It's only the wind."

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Art Pets

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

Non-working dog, please help

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

Debug

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'We really should get him chipped.'

Bad Dog

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."