Press Conference Organizers Gifts

"And since Mr. Hussein did not see his shadow we predict only four more weeks of insurrection."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Communication Breakdowns

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'And in conclusion...'

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."