Presidential Planner T-Shirts

"If the president ever stops by for a visit, I'm going to serve him some of my famous flan."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Waiting for retirement.

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

The ambush.

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Bad Office Planning

Father Time Management

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'