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'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Heavenly meetings.

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"First, I storyboarded it."

"Ok, get the 09:30 to Manchester... change for the 11:25 to Preston.. then catch the 12:15..."

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

"And where do you see yourself an eternity from now?"

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"I know, I know - don't go shopping when you're hungry."

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

"Lunch Thursday at one? Looks good to me."

It appears to be a "list of things to do today."

Nigel Adkins

'We have to build an ark - It's part of His restructuring plan.'

OK, great! So, we re-brand Crackerjack for a new generation and call it 'The C Word'.

"Yes, this is a used coffin. My brother was a car dealer."

"Ralph always did play the long game.:

"What's your exit strategy?"

CEO Barney Bingle reassured analysts that his company's earnings target is still in sight.

Life insurance company

"Hello Mr Jenkins. Gentleman in reception to see you. Something about a plan he wants to copyright?"