Presidential Planner Gifts

"If the president ever stops by for a visit, I'm going to serve him some of my famous flan."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

God's Subcontractors

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Waiting for retirement.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The Best Laid Plans

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Bad Office Planning

The ambush.

Father Time Management

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'