Presidential Inauguration Gifts

At Least Trump is Gone

Joe Biden

'I'm sorry... The President has declined your request for mercy, Mr Fekelson...'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"I think we just blew up the Mother of All Egos."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Bravo!"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Joe Biden

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Maybe I'm not the best choice to ask if your silly wife cartoons are funny!"

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

The new president to the rescue.

Beware of the Legislation

"Ok, I get it, you're happy and you know it. Now quit clapping."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

The Art of the Possible

Future site of Que Sera Sera.

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

New Mandate - Gun Control, Immigration Reform, Jobs, End of War, and Health Reform.

'You were right, Mum - he only wants me for one thing!'

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

Abraham Lincoln

Biden presidency

'Well if you wanted a garden shed made out of wood or brick, then you should have married one of my brothers!'

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"