Presidential Campaign Gifts

"He refused to go outside, so I had to be cruel. I put the election coverage on the TV. Even he can't stomach it."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'Loaves and fishes are SO first-century!'

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Save the unicorn.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The Russian Election.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

George Papandreou.

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

The Thinker

2020 Republican Party National Convention

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Jerry Brown.

Distraction.

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."