Presenter Gifts

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'Now look at this. This is interesting!'

'Here things are getting interesting!'

"First, I want to give you an overview of what I will tell you over and over again during the entire presentation."

The speech was almost interesting. People began to sit up and fake interest.

Presentation skills.

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

This may help you understand my presentation.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

For More Effective Presentations Avoid Excessive Bullet Points.

'Dang, I forgot my notes!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'What's this, Dawkins?another of you 'visual metaphors'?'

'I don't know what's worse...you, Jenkins, snoring through my presentation, or you, Fredericks, complaining that it was keeping you awake!'

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'. . . Doom gloom. . . horror. . . shock. . . nightmare scenario. . .'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'Whoops. That's upside down.'

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.'

Welcome to Eternal Damnation: Slide 1 of 9,999

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'This PowerPoint slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.'

"This report took me three months to put together - any questions?" "Yes - how long have you had that toupee?"

"Where are you going with this, Wingate?"

'Could you speak a little louder?'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'How humiliating! I got shot down by my own talking points!'

'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'

'I've worked out my strategy for the presentation. If I can put them to sleep in the first ten minutes then I can talk rubbish for the next half hour .'

'Our next speaker won't bore you with a long speech. He can do it with a short one...'

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."