Presentation Stylist Gifts

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

Bad hair day!

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

Blue sky thinking

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Pampered and poodled.

Shoe addict.

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."