Presentation Designer Gifts

"I only kill the messenger if PowerPoint is involved."

"It looked like a really powerful presentation when I did it at 3 o'clock this morning!"

"It's a flow chart."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Direct Marketing...

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Presentation skills.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'