Presentation Skills Gifts

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Fair warning, Norton - one more sports metaphor and you're fired!'

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

"No, gentlemen...that's not the sweet smell of success. That's the sweet smell of Frank's aftershave."

'You're supposed to dodge the bullet points.'

'In an effort to make this a more pleasant meeting I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph clockwise a full ninety degrees.'

'Fascinating talk on communication. Too bad this is the wrong date, time and room.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

What are you talking about?

"Thank heaven's my marker pen ran out."

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

"I think Quigley likes our proposal. His antennae quivered during the presentation!"

"If you don't strike oil in the first minute then stop boring."

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"Author! Author!"

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

'Brains...brains...brains.'

'Well, I suppose it makes a change from powerpoint presentations...'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

Customer Care

'Welcome to the magic and the mystery that is Henry's powerpoint presentation.'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"All of the graphs and charts are nice and all Scott, but it would make me feel a lot more confident in this presentation if I were to see some actual money images."

"I have bad news, but it's in bullet points!"

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"