Presentation Pontiff Gifts

Everyone at a meeting has fallen asleep.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

Lethal Presentation

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'