Prequel Punter Pillows

"We did the sequel, we did the prequel. There's only one option left: zombies."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

Vikings to the Super bowl.

"Not too much off my back."

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

A Good Bet.

Saloon Selectives

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

Early man had 127 words for rock...and no words for anything else.

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

Football will be penalised...

'Twenty quid will be great, I'll give you it back on Thursday when I get my Giro.'

Gambler And Umpire

Donkey Fights

'Racing form on wall' -"Thunder lad is the only horse with a chance.. I've been following him all season."

"I think we need to spend some time apart."

'I'm really quite religious. I pray every time I buy a lottery ticket.'

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

The God's football

"You're Not Bending Your Knees."

"My paycheque this month is actually less than I made on the football pool."

"Tell me what you know about destiny." "It's running in the 330 at Ascot."