Preparing For College Prints

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

For their safety, many colleges require that parents put on airbags before they are told what the school's tuition is.

Concerned that their teenagers weren't studying for their SATs, the Moxleys hired an actor to panhandle on the street near their house.

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

'There was an old lady who had so many children she didn't know what to do, especially about college tuition.'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"Do you think about life after high school? Like...what are you taking when you go to college?"

"Isn't Gracie getting a little old for bedtime stories?"

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'Do I have to pick my major now? I'm still deciding my sexual preference.'

'I have to flunk a few things, Dad, so I'll qualify for a government grant to go to college.'

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

Evaluating Colleges!

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

It's parents' night. They're discussing the college admissions process. Isn't it early for that? Are you kidding? They'll explain how to pay for 50-grand-a-year tuitions. In that case � It's already way too late.

Don't bug me about college! I'm doing all I can: good grades. Playing sports. Helped found Eco Club. What more can I possibly do? Acquire rich parents. Fast. College guide.

It's soo competitive! I'll never get into college! Don't worry, honey. You have plenty of time to prepare. Thanks, mom. Wow! Look at the tuition hikes and financial aid cuts. Don't worry. You have plenty of time to prepare. True. I deposited $10 just the other week.

Check out the tuitions on these college brochures. Let's see. $50,000 a year, plus fees?! If college professors are so bleepin' brilliant � You'd think they'd have fixed such a glaring typo! It is fixed. Against us!

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'