Preparing For A Trip To France Pillows

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Italia tours

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I just..."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Western Outfitters.

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"Apparently the wee pancake by itself had been breakfast."

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

Mad For It

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Somewhere in France: The Fabric of Daily French Life Is On Display

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

Let them eat cake!

Bath Abbey

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.

'Of course he's smiling. In your best high school French, you just ordered Champagne for the entire hotel.'

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

"He's looking for something for the beach."

'Not now Kato!'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

'Don't worry, have a nice holiday, I'll cover for you: Once cockadoodledoo at sunrise, any idiot can do that!'

You will go on a trip.